My Letter to GOD

Uncategorized Sep 23, 2022


This journal post was written 9/8/21, a few months after chemo ended and I was in a scary, dark place suffering debilitating brain fog, exhaustion, anxiety, and severe PTSD.  My spiritual counselor, Susan Vivona, (a GOD send, pun intended), inspired me to write a letter to GOD, and then let GOD respond through me with an answer, as I stayed open and receptive to the message.

And since our mutual personal connection of GOD is Yeshua, (Jesus), I realized I missed my pure and innocent connection with HIM from childhood  As a result of my whole journey leading up to my diagnosis, I had gotten quite caught up with the angels, a part of my experience which I haven't shared yet, and since then so much has changed.  So I welcomed this invitation to open up again and communicate with Him in a new way.

As I reread it now 2 years later I'm in awe at what came through me...


ME:  GOD what do you want of me?  What do you desire for me?  

I'm struggling, I'm tired.  I feel lost in every imaginable way.  I feel like I'm hanging on by a string and one more breath it will tear and I'll fall plunging deep into some unknown abyss.  Maybe that's what is supposed to happen?  I don't know.  But my mind is scrambled, scattered, and forgetful in a frightening way. I'm unable to process or handle even small tasks.   And I'm getting more and more overloaded and overwhelmed.  I need you, GOD.  Please tell me what you want of and for me.


GOD:  I want you to simply rest my child. 

You've been running in circles for far too long and I've been just patiently waiting for you to stop, to let go and be still.  I've been here holding out my hand to walk with you and lead you back home...  Home to your heart which is my dwelling place.    


I know it can seem like a scary place in your mind, but living in your mind is where darkness lies, manipulates, separates, and holds you captive.  Your heart is where I AM.  Your precious heart is where I live, where I wait, where I love and call you, singing your name every moment to remind you who you are and provide the safe haven you desire.  


But I cannot force you to choose your heart over your head.  I will not impede your process, push or force you home.  That is the work of the mind, the ego, the enemy who has tricked you into submission without your realizing what's happened and happening.  


You see my home is effortless, receptive, and unconditional. However, it requires vulnerability, surrender, and trust.  Trust in yourSelf and trust in Me. 


You are so used to maintaining order or trying to control; living in your head as a slave to whatever thought pulls your attention, keeping you spinning and moving so fast that you rush through each moment to feel you've accomplished something. However, this takes you farther and farther away from me. 


You are finally realizing that this doesn't work but what you haven't figured out quite yet is how simple life is and can be when all that is truly important is the moment you let go, fall, and allow me to capture you.  


I AM in the Present moment. 

I AM the moment. 


Feel into your heart and keep it open to my Love, Compassion, and Peace.  Let me Unify you with the Truth of your Eternal Soul so you can master the mind rather than the mind mastering you.


Loosen your grasp, my child.  Breathe deep into your heart and open.  Feel my loving embrace and listen to my song of praise and joy welcoming you home.  


I love you.  I am waiting and will wait forever for you... 

Your Beloved, ... Yeshua


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