I woke up lonely this morning.

Can anyone relate?

This time of year as much as it can bring joy, and happiness, and togetherness, it can also bring up loss and loneliness.

But you are never feeling lonely for the reasons that you think you are.

There is an energy on the inside that’s calling for your attention to go inward, to meet yourself there, and breathe open into the loneliness. To be in stillness and nothingness and meet ALL of the feelings that arise with presence and loving awareness.

There is nothing wrong with you and there is nothing to do, there is just more of you to feel, witness, allow and even express. Every time you try to feel better, distract yourself, or do something to escape the loneliness you trap your light inside. You close off to a deeper part of you.

 It is you who you are looking for always.  And just BEING is ENOUGH

Are you willing to sit with yourself the next time you feel lonely...

“Only what you have not given can be lacking in any situation.” ACIM

To take it deeper for me personally at this moment… “The only thing that can ever be lacking is more of me showing up in my system.”

So what am I missing?  What am I still not getting?  Or, more importantly, who is the one who needs to get it? 

All of this is for me…

I’m in the contraction phase of life followed by the huge expansion at Breathcamp in Italy.  So much is dying off and I feel all of  it.  I guess i’m in mourning in a way.  Old versions of myself are screaming out as they burn off

When I worry or panic about money, health, career, etc. I’m in my head and not my heart.  I’m swimming in delusion and disconnecting from my body.  Lies

I AM the abundance, health, and purpose I seek.  There’s nothing to change, fix, manage or make happen on the...

There is a Higher Me here.

She's always here but she waits.

She waits for me to see or feel her through the fog; through the drama and chaos that my ego carefully constructs and keeps alive.

I get tangled in this web of heavy thoughts that circulate incessantly. I become trapped under stuck emotions that have lined walls around my heart. 

And still, She waits.

She is such a loving, Higher Being that she is always accepting me unconditionally, ALL of me, "good and bad", and patiently waiting for me to do the same.  

I, like so many, am addicted to my story, to my suffering. Asleep and drowning in my unfelt feelings. Attached to the past or future, avoiding the now. It's only when I awaken, surrender, accept, and fully love myself, forgive myself, and honor every quality, feeling, attribute, detail, narrative... EVERYTHING, and not see any of it as wrong, and not see myself as wrong that she appears.

Sometimes it's only a glimpse,...

How Breathwork Saved my Life!

Each week I'm slowly making my way back to this space. I'm taking my time, prioritizing myself and my personal healing, and in I am in awe of what's birthing in me.

As I tip-toe my way here, sharing more of my story and experience, I will start by opening up more and more about what has led me to this place.  I have been waiting to share some of the real raw earlier details of my experiences but trust in Divine Timing.  There is a lot percolating, and the biggest, most healing impact is...

Breathwork.

But don't be fooled by the term. This isn't just sitting and breathing, or watching the breath, or doing a breathing meditation. These are full breathwork ceremonies; powerful healing journeys that are 30-60 minutes in length and have benefits physically, emotionally, mentally AND spiritually.

So I will share with you my top 10 of what Breathwork has done for me and continues to do.

May it inspire you of what's...

 (YOU CAN LISTEN TO THE AUDIO RECORDING WHICH ADDS MORE...)

I just completed an 8-month breathwork facilitator program through the international school, Alchemy of Breath.  It was so much more than learning about breathing techniques. It was the most beautiful opening to the doorway of my soul.  It became part of my healing protocol after more than a year of grueling, breast cancer recovery.  The first year of recovery was mostly physical healing, and in the 2nd year, when the fog lifted, Alchemy of Breath led me home to my heart. Coming back into my body I had to meet a multitude of traumas.  But I did it, and still am, one breath at a time.  

We had inner journey classes to enquire into every aspect of our pre-birth, birth, childhood, and upbringing, leading to this present moment.  Toward the end of the training, we even explored our own personal death; a topic many stay away from, including me, until I came face to face with it...

MY BEHIND THE SCENES GRATITUDE LIST BELOW and counting... )

There is so much that no one tells you when you are diagnosed and treated for a life-threatening illness. And I suppose it kinda has to be that way; to stay as present as possible to carefully choose and live each baby step along the way. Especially when you know better than to just listen to what others tell you to do, including doctors, and refuse to operate or choose from fear! It's an inward journey that takes patience, Presence, and deep listening to the body, heart, and soul.

And choosing what feels right within; a choice unique and perfect for each of us.

So, I never expected breast cancer recovery taking almost 2 years. But I also never expected to be GRATEFUL for it. ALL of it. And that has taken a LOT of time as well. 

I certainly didn’t do it alone. I would never have gotten through it without so many people that were part of various phases of this journey.

It goes without saying that my heart is full...

This journal post was written 9/8/21, a few months after chemo ended and I was in a scary, dark place suffering debilitating brain fog, exhaustion, anxiety, and severe PTSD.  My spiritual counselor, Susan Vivona, (a GOD send, pun intended), inspired me to write a letter to GOD, and then let GOD respond through me with an answer, as I stayed open and receptive to the message.

And since our mutual personal connection of GOD is Yeshua, (Jesus), I realized I missed my pure and innocent connection with HIM from childhood  As a result of my whole journey leading up to my diagnosis, I had gotten quite caught up with the angels, a part of my experience which I haven't shared yet, and since then so much has changed.  So I welcomed this invitation to open up again and communicate with Him in a new way.

As I reread it now 2 years later I'm in awe at what came through me...

ME:  GOD what do you want of me?  What do you desire for me?  

I'm...

UPDATE FROM TINA

 (Picture on left, hair cut short to prepare, pic on right, my swollen face during treatment)

It has been such a long road, and although it’s not over, I wanted to take a few moments and express my heartfelt gratitude to each and every one of you.

Being on this healing journey is unlike anything I have ever, or could ever, expect to experience. It has been anything but easy, and continues to challenge me each and every day physically, mentally, emotionally, AND spiritually!

In many ways I feel like I’ve been through hell and back, over and over and over as each treatment, brought with it new side effects, less hair, and lots of tears. It has been a roller coaster ride of emotions, and I’ve gotten quite good at riding the multitude of waves.

Each day continues to bring something new for me to look at, observe, meditate on, feel, and let go… and I’m slowly emerging to the other side. I’m about to embark on...